October 30, 2010 Effective Grieving

The book of Lamentations makes a lot more sense when you read it right after Jeremiah.  Considering what had happened to Jerusalem, the siege and the exile to Babylon, it makes total sense to grieve.  Most of us are familiar with the "stages of grief" from psychology.  Instead of referring to that right now, I am looking solely at what I learned about grieving from what we've read so far in Lamentations.  Then we can evaluate the observations as we read the rest of the book and review what we've already read.

There are different points of view expressed in this long poem of grief.  It's not so confusing when you read it this way.  However, strong feelings of confusion are natural when experiencing grief, especially something so deeply affecting as what Jeremiah is writing about.  As we see Jerusalem personified as a grieving widow, and then enter in to her experience and the expression of her grief, we can learn a lot. 

There's Jeremiah's personal grief expressed here, too;  and sometimes it even seems that God is expressing His own grief through Jeremiah.  I came to the conclusion that God grieved as much as anyone for having to put His people through the stuff.  If you're a parent, you most likely know how painful it is for parents to do the needed discipline at times.  It is obvious that God did not enjoy the destruction and the resulting grief of His people.  He's a compassionate God.

So, my first conclusion is this:  if you've suffered loss, no matter what type, tell the story and express the grief as thoroughly and honestly as you can (and a creative medium such as journaling or poetry can help you do this).  At first, you don't have to think through the feelings, make sense of them, dissect them or judge them (they may seem irrational to you or others).  Just get them out in reviewable form.

If we are around someone who is grieving, being able to hear/see, etc. the feelings helps us share the grief with them-- helps us understand.  Reading this book, along with some of the Psalms and other people's expressions, can help us understand someone in extreme grief even if we haven't been there ourselves.  Being open to sharing our grief expressions with intimate others can open us up to sharing our grief with God, and to experiencing His comfort as well.  We understand from Lamentations that God does not hold Himself aloof from our grief, even if we have brought a loss onto ourselves (yes, I have been there). 

IMPORTANT: I want to note that we must not apply the discipline reason for loss to someone (even to ourselves, as in the throes of grief, we may become self-condemning) unless it is our own child we ourselves are disciplining.  It is up to the Holy Spirit to reveal the "whys" for things happening to people, and He may not always do so. It can be so terribly wounding to people for us to try to interpret their losses for them, even if we are correct-- and we most likely are not.  Please refrain from doing so (unless you're the prophet Jeremiah--and remember, he warned them in advance by God's orders).

Second, in the midst of the grieving process, it is paramount to remember what we know about God, review things He's done for us, and praise Him for His goodness and steadfast love.  Making ourselves read or listen to the Word is essential in this process.  If we have journaled about His work in our lives, this is a good time to go back to it and read it again.    We may be feeling really angry at God, and maybe we're blaming Him for stuff.  He can handle it, and He is OK with us expressing these thoughts and feelings.  But He also wants us to draw away from the feelings and the grief sometimes, and just meditate on Him.  Sometimes others can remind us of His love and goodness, and His good plans for us-- this must be done gently and with love.  Look how Jeremiah did this so tenderly in the middle of Lamentations.  Such a good example!

The third part is a melding process of the first two.  The Holy Spirit begins to work in us to compare and contrast our experience and feelings of grief with the realities of God.  The more we are able to immerse ourselves in Him and His Word, including fellowship with wise and loving believers, the quicker we are able to integrate what we've experienced and feel with our knowledge of Him and the truth He reveals to us.  Slowly, (and it's different for everyone in timing and the way the process looks), things start to clear up.  We see where we need to repent, and we are able to do so.  We see what God is doing in our life, and we are able to hear and accept His promises for the future.   He imparts His peace to us as we hold on in faith to what we believe about Him. 

The more solidly we are rooted into the Rock that is God, and the more thoroughly we have allowed His Word to change our thinking, the more equipped we will be to endure hardship, loss, and even disaster, and the more effectively we will be able to work through our grief and help others to do so as well.  Even if we find ourselves being disciplined for something, we will be secure in the love and goodness of our Father.  Perhaps we will even avoid said discipline by having experienced vicariously the loss and grief, repentance and restoration of another.  I believe this is God's hope for us all.  

October 18, 2010 Bubbles of Hope

God loves us so much!  He is daily sending out His messages of love and hope, if we just had ears to hear, eyes to see, and hearts to understand.  Jeremiah received a message of hope in a mundane transaction of real estate.  How often we miss these things because we're not expecting them.

Are you in the midst of disaster?  Turn to God.  He is the God of restoration.
Are you suffering from depression?  I am your hope, says the Lord.
Are you being disciplined?  "For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” Jeremiah 31:34

In Christ we have a new covenant, the promise of God's goodness forever.  Even if you feel like you are at the bottom of the ocean. . . weighed down by impossible circumstances and crushed by unbearable heaviness. . . God is with you, and nothing is too hard for Him.  Do you feel separated from God's love?  There are bubbles all around you!  Take these to your heart, for they contain the oxygen of hope that will sustain you until He comes and lifts you up. 

"And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from doing them good; but I will put My fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from Me.  Yes, I will rejoice over them to do them good" Jeremiah 31: 40-41a NKJV

June 28, 2010 A Choice of Princes

Don't you just love the Psalm today? I suppose I could say that about all Scripture verses, since they're all from the Lord.  This one spoke to me particularly about something that's been on my mind a great deal lately.

"Do not put your trust in princes, nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help." Psalm 146: 3  I can say "Amen" to this, because, well. . .how many times have I done this myself, only to be disappointed?  We're going to get disappointed if we look to a person to be our savior,deliverer, provider. . .etc.

In my personal life, I still struggle sometimes to put my full trust in God.  I have to trust God when my husband faces difficulties.  I've had to trust God many times when things seemed impossible, and God, not man, has come through.  God has not changed, only circumstances.  Still, we get stretched, and our faith and hope get stronger.  God still uses my husband to provide for me, but without God's help, he wouldn't be able to do it.  He'd be the first to say so.

In the wider scope of things, I am challenged daily to again put my full trust in God.  I see disasters around the world-- many man-made-- and the problems appear to be so insurmountable that I thank the Lord I am not a world leader.  Mankind seems to be making things worse the more we try to fix things.  When will we decide we can't do it ourselves and turn to God?  I pray for the governments to have the wisdom to solve these things.  But more and more, I pray for the return of Christ to rule and make things right.  We are instructed to do this, and we all need to be in agreement:  "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven."

While we still have a voice in this nation--  a democracy that gives us the right to think, choose and vote-- we must seek God's will and choose our government accordingly.  God has given a great privilege!  We have the government we choose.  This means that we have the possibility of choosing the Kingdom of God even now!  Why would we turn this down? 

It is not man we are to look to for leadership, even though God often works through human instruments.  Christ Jesus is the Prince of Peace, and He is willing to have the government laid upon His shoulders.  He will raise up a government that is able to lead in wisdom and righteousness, if only we will turn back to Christ and look to Him as our true Prince.  When we don't look to Christ to lead us into the truth, what we end up with, instead, is lies and destruction.  There is no philosophy or political agenda, no man or government that can accomplish God's will without submitting to God.  No matter how good it looks, a counterfeit will always disappoint.  Let's not choose the wrong prince!


5 Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God,
6 Who made heaven and earth,
The sea, and all that is in them;
Who keeps truth forever,
7 Who executes justice for the oppressed,
Who gives food to the hungry.
The LORD gives freedom to the prisoners.

8 The LORD opens the eyes of the blind;
The LORD raises those who are bowed down;
The LORD loves the righteous.
9 The LORD watches over the strangers;
He relieves the fatherless and widow;
But the way of the wicked He turns upside down.

10 The LORD shall reign forever—
Your God, O Zion, to all generations.
Praise the LORD!
[NKJV]

January 22, 2010

When I read the Matthew passage for today, I couldn't help thinking of Haiti. Jesus had compassion on the multitudes and healed their sick. Then when they needed food, he multiplied the loaves and fish. I think we don't have much trouble seeing Jesus doing these things, if we believe in Him. But what if we could see ourselves doing these things?

Some people act like that's heresy, to say we could do what Jesus did. But He told the disciples, "They need not go away; you give them something to eat." Matthew 14:16  He was trying to get them to see what He was passing on to them-- what He could do through them if they would just believe. Peter walked on the water-- he got a little glimpse.

Sometimes I think I have a little glimpse, but I'm not doing it yet. I see it though, and if we can see it we can go there! In a world so wracked by disasters, famine and pestilence the children of God are the ones who can deliver: everything that God is and has. I know this to be true. I am praying for it to come to fulfillment.