Reading the Bible, especially the Old Testament, can sometimes feel like wending our way through the darkest recesses of the human psyche, groping for answers. While in the obscurity of waywardness and hidden motives, I am glad to be reminded that, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119: 105. This is all here for my instruction: teach me, Holy Spirit!
The human tendency is to gloat over other people's wrongdoings, which must explain the preponderance of evil in human storytelling: well, at least I'm not as bad as all that, we think-- and are therefore justified in our own minds. Holy Spirit's reasons for taking us through the darkness of history includes freeing us from our own darkness. We must admit it when He shows it to us. Yes, it's there, and I am not free from it yet. It's so hard for us to admit that the same depravity that caused Absalom to do the things he did, that caused Judas to betray Jesus, and Peter to deny Him, still lives in our own heart to some degree. Until we are completely changed into the likeness of Christ, we still have darkness within.
One of the hardest things for me to understand has been how the Lord seems to allow sin to run its full course. We ache for others when they are on a path of darkness, yearning to "fix" it and get them on the right track before it's too late. Often, we can only pray. In my own personal experience, I know the Lord begins to whisper to each one of us of our heart condition before it has ever caused us to stray. Holy Spirit desires to enlighten our darkness with His holy light and to lead us onto the right path.
I find this is one of the most important functions of Scripture-- to give us wisdom without us having to go through our own experience of failure. He will point to someone else's mess and say, look, there's the seed of that in your own heart. If we are humble and willing to agree with Him, He grants us repentance and cleansing. He shows us the Light we need in order to overcome that darkness and avoid the twisted path of wickedness. But if we are proud and stubborn, this hidden depravity of soul will reveal itself through more and more obvious behavior, until everyone around us knows about it, often leaving us blind to it ourself. How many of us have to totally "hit bottom" before we will turn our sin over to God? It is God's patient mercy that allows our sin to run full course.
Eventually, I got tired of rejecting Holy Spirit's private whispering that would preserve me from public humiliation. I listen to Him now. I learned the hard way, though, I have to admit. I am so grateful for His love that covers a multitude of sins. Sins I never have to commit!
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