July 7, 2010 Sticks, Stones and Word-Grenades

I remember learning a sort of proverb when I was a kid: "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."  Children try to believe what their elders tell them-- it's in their basic make-up to do so.  But when their own sense of right and wrong contradicts what they've been told, it's very confusing.  The old adage wasn't true, of course; it was a terrible type of denial, that instead of protecting me, left me very vulnerable to the injury of other people's words.  Lying statements about a person, when undetected or undefused, go deep down into a person's psyche and erode like acid, or they can later go off like bombs, debilitating and even destroying them.

Today we came across the very short, and somewhat hidden statement about Jabez (if you don't at least skim the geneologies and other parts of the Bible you consider boring, you miss important nuggets, or even a best-selling book!).  Here was an innocent kid being told over and over, simply by hearing his name, that he was a pain! (and possibly other words of a mother who had a bad attitude): "Come here, YouCausePain, and do these dishes for me.  That's the least you can do to make up for the suffering you've caused!"  Ouch! 

As Christians, we tend to name our children truthful and empowering things, and for a good reason!  God didn't change people's names for kicks--  He knew what names can do to people.  Names, when well-chosen, can help a child reach his or her full potential in God.  Parents should continue in that vein, speaking the truth in love over their children, as well as nurturing them in other ways.  We're going to make mistakes, obviously, but if we discover we've said something hurtful or untrue,  it is "best practice" to immediately ask a child's forgiveness and replace the untruth with the word of God.  Children also need to be taught what to do when they are ridiculed and picked on, since everyone is at one time or another. Sensitive children, especially, can really be hurt by this and need reinforcement.  The earlier we learn to receive God's comfort and allow Him to build us up with truth, the better.

We're not told how Jabez managed to become "more honorable than his brothers"-- God may have sent someone along to help him.  Since we're told about his prayer, he must have early turned to God in his disappointment.   
I wish this happened more often, but I have listened to the stories of many adults whose personalities were twisted and whose minds were warped by the things they were called as a child (along with other problems of their environment).  We see, however, that if a person will call out to God in faith, He will take up their case, deliver them from evil, restore their personhood, and bless them in their life with His favor.  Jabez even asked for a greater platform in which to testify of God's goodness.  God was able to use for good what the enemy meant for evil.  This is true for anyone who will turn to the Lord rather than remain in bitterness. 

God was able to use the lying statements of the Jews about Paul to get him to an even higher platform.  This could not have happened if Paul had buckled under the barrage of accusations being flung at him for years.  It is extremely important that we learn to hear God's words over us, over our life and person.  We have to believe Him and not the rest of the world, abusive or flattering as it may be.  If there's ever a time of "tearing down" in our life, it probably has a lot to do with tearing down the ways we operate based on lies we've believed about ourselves.  We can only reach our full potential if we are standing on the truth.  God says of you:   
"Rejoice, you who put your trust in Me;
You will shout for joy, because I defend you;
You will be joyful in Me, because you love My name.
I the LORD, will bless You, because you are the righteous in Christ;
I will surround you with My favor as with a shield." from Psalm 5: 11-12