October 29, 2010 Private Righteousness

I love today's Psalm for its applicability to my life, and it's ability to convict me when I need it!  I like it better in the hard-cover version I read most days:
"I will study the way that is blameless.  When shall I attain it?
I will walk with integrity of heart within my house;  I will not set before my eyes anything that is base." Psalm 101:2-3a NRSV

I've had years of practice at walking with the Lord at home-- from being a stay-at-home mom with three kids, to a work-at-home artist and writer.  Most of the time it is only the Lord who knows whether I have lived with integrity or not, although the fruit that I have borne, good or bad, all comes from this tree, grown at home.  Especially now, when the routine of raising children is over, there are lots of opportunities to waste time on worthless things.  Even though I'm careful not to get into evil things, I've discovered that even "harmless" things can steal the fruit I was meant to bear.  Since Jesus Himself is my righteousness, and the Way in which I'm to walk, staying in His presence is the only way I'm going to attain a useful and blameless life that pleases Him.  If I don't purposely set myself to live before Him at all times, I can easily drift (and occasionally do). 

As a person who spends a great deal of time alone, I've discovered that my worst enemy is myself.  I believe David realized this as well, and expressed it in this Psalm.  If I do nothing but look into the mirror, I'm going to have to deal with a person who could possibly: do something base, fall away from grace, be perverse of heart, think evil thoughts, secretly slander someone, have a haughty or arrogant attitude,  practice deceit or utter lies.  If I don't face up to the wickedness that dwells in my own selfish nature, I've already practiced deceit with myself.  So I'm with David-- I'm not going to wear a mask to fool myself (and I can't fool God, of course).  Instead, I'm going to get into conflict with all evil that thinks it wants to dwell in my private lodgings.  "Morning by morning I will destroy all the wicked in the land, cutting off all evildoers from the city of the Lord." vs 8 NRSV

And in the holographic sense, I'm the city of the Lord, and so are you.

September 13, 2010 Dissolved Into Strength

Every once in a while, I find myself in a place of absolute inability to function.  Whether it's my own fault or it's something that God is doing is impossible for me to tell, but I always come to the same conclusion: I am nothing without Him.  I could relate very much to this verse today: For though He was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in Him, but we shall live with Him by the power of God toward you. 
2 Corinthians 13: 4

I decided a long time ago that there isn't any point in trying to do something in my own strength.  What little natural strength I have is easily used up, and what meager things I can do on my own are nothing compared to what the Lord can do through me.  I have learned (more than once) that the world goes on without me.  This can come as a big shock to anyone who has finally believed that "I am the only one who can be me and do what I do."  As true as this is, we still must accept that it is up to God to empower us.  He is Life, and there is no substitute for waiting on Him.

I see myself as a sailboat.  My gifts and talents are like sails.  When the wind blows I will go somewhere as long as my sails are oriented to being filled with the wind.  Just as in the natural world, sometimes the wind is just not blowing!  A sailboat cannot control the wind.  It cannot fake wind either. Why do we Christians think we have to fake the wind?  Do we control the wind?  No.  We don't control the Holy Spirit, and we do not fake His activity.  We just wait.  We actively wait, for at the first sign of movement, we get our sails hoisted and ready to be filled.

It is the times that I am forced to rest that I see how very weak I am.  I feel overwhelmed at the idea of doing any of the things I had previously been doing with ease.  How much I need the Lord!  There is no shame in this.  If Jesus accepted this place of total dependency on God, then it good enough for me.  In fact, it is the only safe place to be.  I am reminded, with force, to be constantly dependent on Him and His strength alone so that I do not fall into pride and self-will.  Stripped of all that makes me feel acceptable to Him, I discover once again that He loves and accepts me "just because."  Everything gets distilled down to having a relationship with God and a more pure desire to please just Him.  Of course, this is the place of inspiration, where exploits are born.

Questions to ponder:
Are you naturally a "be-er" or a "do-er"?
What word-picture would you use to describe the way God empowers your life?
Do you ever feel you are trying to "do" your life on your own?  What do you do about that?
Have you ever felt a sudden shift in how the Holy Spirit was moving in your life?  How did you feel about that?  What was your response to this change?

July 17, 2010 The Robe of Righteousness

God's ideas about righteousness are very different from the ones we come up with as human beings.  God says righteousness can only be received, by believing Him.  He says there's nothing we can do, even from the Mosaic law, to make us righteous.  If we want to be accepted by God, we're going to have to come to Him on His terms.  We can't go before His throne of grace in filthy rags (our own efforts to be righteous).  We have to go before Him in a robe of righteousness.  We are given this robe when we receive Christ as our savior.  His righteousness is placed on us, and then we are clothed properly. 

When we are in right standing with the Father based on our faith in Christ, we can then come before Him in our time of need (which is all the time, isn't it?).  Now that we have been given a right relationship with the Father God through Christ our Brother, we are going to have the opportunity to grow up in Him.  The end result is people who are just like Jesus, walking in righteousness that flows from the inside out because He lives in us.  This delights the Father, but it is never what makes us right with Him.   

June 30, 2010 Keeping Nothing Back

Alas, this morning, I was busy beating myself up slightly for writing so much in a blog that was "supposed" to be brief devotional.  I've got books in me that keep trying to get out.  This is personal, yes, but I was greatly comforted (or in Luke's words, "not a little comforted") to read today about Paul, how he talked until daybreak, even putting a young man to sleep (and raising him from the dead when he fell out the window!).  It was what he said about his reasons for saying so much:  "how I kept back nothing that was helpful" Acts 20:20, and that he had "not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God." vs 27.  In no way am I comparing myself to Paul, or saying that I have the whole counsel of God, but only expressing that I share God's heart for His people, which is why I end up writing so much.  I only have my part, but I am compelled to share my part.

We make our plans, but it's God who guides our steps.  (Proverbs 16:9) Yesterday, the Holy Spirit told me not to apologize for doing what He led me to do.  It reminded me of Julia Childs saying "Never apologize".  I will apologize if I do something wrong, actually wrong.  I feel like apologizing when I don't meet up to people's expectations, or my own.  But I am learning to resist that.  It's only God's expectations that we have to live up to (or should).  He is faithful to let us know He is pleased with us, and that's all that matters in the long run.

FYI: I have started a Twitter account-- can you believe it?-- and I will post a very short thought on the OYB reading for the day (among other things), for those who want to get a quick insight, and it will have a link to this blog.